Uga v. Smokey, 555 F. Supp. 1555 (E.D. Tenn. 2006)
Dawgsport’s Kyle King is questioning Tennessee’s ability to take care of its live mascot. In support of this wild accusation, The Mayor has this to say:
Smokey II had to tangle with Baylor’s live bear mascot during the 1957 Sugar Bowl and Smokey VI collapsed from heat exhaustion in 1991 before passing away later that same season.
I submit that we don’t need to coddle our mascot as Smokey, unlike Uga, can take care of himself. Smokey II tried to put the smackdown on a bear and survived. And VI’s heat exhaustion only kicked in at 140 degrees.
To my knowledge, Uga has never come close to to assailing a wild beast. Granted, he did snip at an Auburn player once, but I’d wager Kyle would agree that that particular varmint is much further down the food chain than a domesticated bear. And the last time I saw Uga on t.v., he was panting like Charlie Weiss after 200 up downs and slobbering profusely into his food dish while lounging in the 75 degree shade of his doghouse.
I’d say Uga gives up the ghost at 95 degrees and soils his black and reds at the mere sight of a bear cub.
Smokey, on the other hand, can take care of himself.
May 26th, 2006 at 8:37 am
Touche! I don’t mean to give the bluetick hound a hard time . . . it just strikes me as odd how Uga seems to get quality care, with each member of the line living a long life before going to lay with his fathers, old and full of days, while most other schools’ mascots meet with untimely ends.
I don’t concede the bear point—stories of Uga lifting his leg and relieving himself on Mike the Tiger’s cage in Baton Rouge attest to his fearlessness—but I’ll grant that Uga lives a somewhat sheltered life, as befits a mascot of his station. I’m just not so sure it’s a good idea for other schools to entrust their live mascots to the care of a couple of drunk fraternity pledges who let them play in traffic, as appears to be the case at many institutions.
I’ll give this to Smokey, though . . . the way the first one was picked as Tennessee’s mascot (by howling during a halftime competition) is pretty cool, however much fun I may make of it come October.
Keep up the good work! Thanks for taking my good-natured kidding in the spirit in which it was intended and for giving as good as you get. I hope you and the rest of the folks on Rocky Top have a good Decoration Day weekend.
May 26th, 2006 at 9:01 am
Uga urinated on Mike the Tiger? I like it.
Of course, Mike was caged.
Thanks for keeping the off season fun, Kyle, and happy Memorial Day to you as well.
May 27th, 2006 at 8:45 pm
Hey Joel,
Just to update you, my blog that you have linked on your main page, “Buckeye Sports Blitz,” has changed it name and web address. The new name is “Buckeye Banter” and the new address is http://buckeyebanter.com
Thanks,
Matt
May 29th, 2006 at 12:13 am
my freshman year, smokey comes out onto the sanford stadium turf and uga immediately goes after the mutt and i swear to god, smokey pissed… so scared he pissed right there. of course, the bulldog defense went on to do the same thing, but at least uga defended his honor